Something wonderful

In Business Woman by LadyBohemia

I’ve already mentioned how my friends went out on a campaign to help me out when my life fell apart… But instead of sorrow and loss, now I am going to tell you only about good and wonderful things.

LadyBohemia is opening a worldwide webshop any day now. It’s true, it’s happening.

My friends Oona Kassila, Bhakti Kulmala and Minna Kulmala have done an enormous labor of love for me – I find no words to thank them.

But I’ll give you a little preview of the beauty coming up – all photos by the incredibly talented Minna Kulmala.

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A turquoise / white tunic top

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Italian lace blouse plus snakepattern pants…

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Golden shimmery evening dress…

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A bohemian goddess dream dress…

And so much more. It’s so good for me to dive into this work that I love. I truly need something to focus on and thanks to my darling friends, I’ve got it.

So very soon, a very big part of LadyBohemia’s collection is going to be available worldwide – we deliver everywhere.

The site is not live yet, but as soon as it is, I’ll let you know <3.

Sending hugs,
LadyBohemia

 

Celebrating life and love

In Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

My friends arranged an event at LadyBohemia. To invite everybody who had loved Kalle and me, to celebrate his endless joy of life. Also, to help me keep going with this labor of love of mine LadyBohemia, at a moment when I am not able to, but have to, keep on working.

They did it all, arranged everything, invited people, told everybody it wasn’t even sure I would be able to show up. But they were prepared to handle all. Serafiina Sainio, Annika di Chiara, Bhakti Kulmala, my mother, Ria for photographing…. Pike Holmström. Kira Lahdenperä for the flowers, for keeping the shop open when I was, let’s say, not presentable for any client.

I will never forget what you have done for me. Not one smile, not one shared tear. In my deepest hour of need, I truly was not alone.

Bhakti ja Serafiina

Serafiina Sainio and Bhakti Kulmala <3

We had the best of evenings, ever. In the invitation I’d promised you can all laugh, you can cry, all rules are out the window at this point.

So, so many people came, bringing their loving messages and kind words for Kalle and their best wishes for my future without him. I am touched beyond words.

 

Tragedy often brings out the best, absolutely most beautiful qualities in people. Unfortunately also in reverse.

But this evening was about the goodness, the kindness, the compassion of human spirit. Even total strangers came, they had heard about my loss and just wanted to help any way they could. I have no words, really.

Pike Holmström & Annika di Chiara

For example, a doctor I’d never met came by saying should I or my children ever need help or crisis therapy, she would take us in anytime, without charge. She left me her email. Then she bought something to support our livelihood, and after a couple of hours came back with her business card, with her personal phone number. I could call anytime.

My little but very dear friend Kris, the age of my children, came to give me a hug and tell me just how sorry he was for my loss.

So many encounters, so much love.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

kukat

 

Belonging to each other

In About Me, Everyday Poesie by LadyBohemia

Kalle and I were going to get married.

That was clear from the word go.  Only after our first phone call, lasting almost 5 hours , I thought to myself – you’re in so deep now girl. This is THE man. This really is it.

He proposed  for the first time to me so soon I don’t even remember.

We wanted to give my children time to get to peacefully know him. So after some half a year I told them this was the man I was going to marry some day. BUT  I told then this was up to their schedule entirely. Kalle and I had decades of time, no rush. I would only marry him or we would move in with him when they felt completely comfortable with him.

I asked them to take their time and think about it, ask any questions that would come to their minds.

First, after a while, my oldest, Joel, said he wanted to have a private talk with me. He said he felt it was the right thing for us to marry Kalle as he loved us all so much and he was so kind  (Kalle on aina niin kiltti meille) – but under one condition – I’d keep the same last name as the boys. I promised him.

Then my little one wanted to have a conversation. He wanted us to live with Kalle first, then the marriage after. I respected his wish – and felt it was very wise for his age. But one thing he said resonated with my heart. ‘Maman, nobody has ever loved us as much as Kalle does’.

Faith didn’t give us the time. But actually, in the end  it doesn’t matter all that much.

We belonged to each other.

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New LadyBohemia webshop coming up

In About Me, Business Woman, Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

Today I am going to do what ever it takes to focus on the positive.

My darlings Bhakti and Oona have been working day and night to build me a new divine webshop, something for me to dive into, for some good energy and a fresh start.

Here’s a little sneak peak of wonders to come <3. The launch is soon, will keep you posted.

Ps. Annika sweetheart left her work to go and tape this video, bought me a strawberry and mint juice and something to eat, and now she is here unpacking my boxes.

Love really is all around.

A moment of solace

In Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

After the loss of my love, I have been blessed by so many beautiful encounters, received so much love I never could have imagined.
Last night, quite late, my doorbell rang. A husband of a dear friend, just to check up on me.
He too has gone through an unreasonable loss, he never speaks about it but even before I lost my Kalle, I’d felt the pain in him and understood.
We lay on my bed holding each other’s hands crying and not crying, speaking or not speaking. Some were things never said to another soul. Main question – how does one survive this. No answer. But at least neither of us, in that moment, was alone in this darkness.
Thank you my dear friend for your compassion, your kindness, your ever loving presence. Thank you for understanding my violent tears and for being there until they once again passed. 
Today it’s been a week.

The love of my life is gone

In Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

18620372_1415498538489205_2666177450111132771_nYou always said you’d do everything for me that a small man only could. I always answered that you are the greatest man I have ever known.

Kalle Savén I love you forever.

~* Living poetry *~

In Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

Life surprised me with wondrous ways just a few weeks back. First, a client whom I’d only met some 4 times came to LadyBohemia telling me she’d hurt her leg – and she had just booked an all expenses paid trip to Paris. Asking me if I’d like to go in her place.

A gift out of nowhere, a miracle at the very moment when I was so, so tired… And for the first time since forever, I just took off and let go of everything.

Aimless, mapless and free, I wondered around the beautiful streets, taking the sunshine, the elegance, the buildings, little alleys, bridges, doors, those cafés, those smiles into my soul.

Then suddenly I realized I stood in a place I recognized from 25 years back. From a day I was proposed to for the first time.

I had said yes.

I climbed to sit on the fence where I’d sat on that day, remained there for a long time, heart overflown with gratitude over that first love, those six years we’d had together.

And the miracles don’t stop there, they keep growing. I posted a photo of this fence and… My phone beeped a message.

It was him. The message is private but I can tell you I cried, tears of happiness. He’d spotted the photo and just wanted to make sure I knew…

And after 25 years, all I needed to answer was ’I’ve always known’.

Don’t get me wrong, this was not about rekindling a romance, no.

Just a crystalised moment on what life and love are all about

~*~

 

 

~* My Rainbow Flower Child *~

In Everyday Poesie, Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

At breakfast, my son told me about a discussion he’d had with a new boy in his class. Farook had ended something he’d said with “inshallah”.

Luca, casually: “Did you know, there are many people in Finland who don’t believe in God?”

Farook: “Really???”

Luca 9 yrs: ‘Yes in different countries people believe in different things. I’ve thought about it and I don’t believe in God. My dad doesn’t either. But it’s okay that you do.”

Farook thought about it: “Well yes why not… I guess it’s okay”.

Let’s just leave this planet to our kids. They’re ready to make it better.

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~*~

 

When you just aren’t enough

In Everyday Poesie, Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

Not so long ago I lost my father, my marriage, my job, my ability to survive financially… So many things collapsed that I felt I collapsed  under the weight myself. Additionally, these are the times where a lot of friends and family members take their distance – let’s face it, a depressed and desperate person is not so very much fun to hang around.

Slowly (or maybe fast? there was no notion of time in that endlessness) yet surely I fell into deep exhaustion, a tiredness no words can reach. I won’t bother you with the details, you can all google depression. But very few google hits tell you how to address depression with your little children.

I realized that especially my oldest son knew something was up. He had no means to understand. But he was serious, all too serious, eyes welled up with unanswered  questions. How do you talk to your child about depression? Every instinct in my head screamed NO! spare him from this, this is my pain not his, he’s just too little. But my heart whispered he already knows. And if I didn’t talk to him, he’d have to deal  alone.

So, I told my Joel he must have noticed how tired I’d become… How much sleep I needed… And that I wasn’t smiling as much as before. Told him all this was all due to an illness called depression, it causes these things. Told him I was treated and helped by doctors and medicine – adults took care of this, he didn’t need to worry.

Interrupting me, he asked hastily “Maman are you going to die of it?”. Turned out he HAD processed it, all alone, equating my situation with my father’s illness that just recently had made my son’s beloved grandfather fade away from us. Knowing something was wrong with me, not understanding how serious it could be, he’d wanted to protect me from his questions and concerns. What a weight he had carried on his tender shoulders.

I promised him I would get well again. He knows I never ever promise if I can’t keep my word.

I apologized. For not having talked to him earlier, for sleeping too much, for always being exhausted. For everything, really.

And my child with tears in his eyes hugged me tight, saying something so wise, so kind, so compassionate that it rests in my heart forever.

 “Maman I know you always do your very best. Remember, that is enough.”

My son, my hero.

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Back in the day when I swore to always protect the love of my life. And already now, he protects me right back.

~*~

 

~ When Tinder and clubs are a no-no ~

In Uncategorized by LadyBohemia

I recently read something most touching ever found from Facebook, of all places. A man wrote about his grandfather who had lost his wife after 40 years of marriage… Five years on, the grandfather was feeling lonely and missed the presence of another person in his life. He described an 80-year-old gentleman, active, bright, interested in so many things… Together the grandson and grandfather had sat down to figure out where he could meet a like-minded lady, as Tinder or nightclubs weren’t really his thing.

So the grandson wrote a brilliant post on his Facebook page, describing his grandfather, welcoming contacts from women who were touched by this story.

Well, it was something I could have written about my mother, almost word for word. She’s sweet, beautiful, active… Loves concerts, theatre, traveling, light sports… Yet going about these things alone year after year, one gets so lonely.

So I decided to take the plunge on her behalf… And now, after some weeks of messaging between the grandson and I, they might exchange photos and phone numbers, and there could be a date in the cards!

Only little thing left, must tell mom… As I wanted to feel this was a real thing instead of a hoax before getting her involved… So tomorrow she’s coming over, bringing her pretty self, pretty clothes and an open mind, I hope… Maybe with a glass of champagne, I’ll manage to encourage her to at least go as far as taking the photo…

I’ve never been on any net dating thing, but if a friendship comes out of this, my mom is yet again a frontrunner in this family <3.

Butterflies in my stomach…

leikattu-kasvokuva

~*~